January 26th, 2023

[Jigsaw]

I hope everyone has been well.

Almost been a month since my mother died (though it really hasn't felt like it). Admittedly, I'm not doing that well, but I'm trying to keep myself busy, tipping my toes back into horror movies (it's hard to deal with a horror blog when you've lost much of your desire to watch movies), and somewhat soon, I'll have to find a job somewhere nearby, and hope that it's not as miserable as my last job was.

Also, I'm trying not to disconnect completely. I have few people I really talk to, so I definitely don't want to lose the friendships I've made here, even if I've not been active much recently.

So little in the way of good news here - and certainly sorry for my depressed thoughts to start the day - but I hope that everyone's day goes decently.

[Tiggnutz]

You have lifelong friends here Jigs. I hope it gets easier for you.

[Ava]

No timeline on grief unfortunately Jig. That shit will smack you in the face five years from now in the middle of the store. You are in that fresh overwhelming part right now. Its the worst. The worst. No matter what, your thoughts go straight back to that grief even when you are trying to make yourself busy. The thing that I never understood until losing someone I loved beyond belief is that it never goes away. Never. There was before, then after. It never returned to before. BUT, I will say that the times of overwhelming grief will get longer and longer apart. Don't be too hard on yourself right now. Who knows that job might be the best thing ever. Stars will align type of crapola.