03~29~20

[Jason]

Have taken to writing poetry for fun in this strange time.

Request: Something COVID related in the style of Edgar Allan Poe.

[showa58taro]

Have taken to writing poetry for fun in this strange time.

Request: Something COVID related in the style of Edgar Allan Poe.

Poe is a master of the craft, I’m just an amateur dabbler. Would be hard given his style. May try but can’t promise.

[showa58taro]

Particularly the trochaic octameter is HARD to get right.

[Dream]

I know one couple here that has it, husband died, wife is in critical care. The wife works with my mother-in-law but thankfully the theater hasn't gone back into production yet so we haven't seen her since late November or early December of last year. Last update I heard from her daughter wasn't good, which sucks. She is a really upbeat and cheerful person.

One of our residents left with her daughter on Saturday (like to stay with her daughter for the next few weeks, not to go out and come back or anything). She had a sore throat and wasn't feeling great, very slight fever, so I'm hoping she didn't catch it and just had a normal sore throat.

[showa58taro]

You avoiding it then Dream? Have they given you protective wear etc?

[Dream]

You avoiding it then Dream? Have they given you protective wear etc?

So far (had a scare at one point, but I came out of it quickly and realized it was a panic attack making it hard to breathe and not illness) and not really. We have some fabric masks and awful vinyl gloves but I haven't felt the need to wear them all the time yet. (I haven't had to get within 8 feet of anyone yet, which I have to say is kind of awesome considering people used to invade my personal space all the fucking time.)

So far the only time I've worn them is when I'm setting up medication cassettes for the residents I oversee, which is once every three weeks.

[Jason]

You avoiding it then Dream? Have they given you protective wear etc?

So far (had a scare at one point, but I came out of it quickly and realized it was a panic attack making it hard to breathe and not illness)

I'm able to fight off the really big ones, most of the time.

[Dream]

You avoiding it then Dream? Have they given you protective wear etc?

So far (had a scare at one point, but I came out of it quickly and realized it was a panic attack making it hard to breathe and not illness)

I'm able to fight off the really big ones, most of the time.

Me too. I've dealt with them for years as a kid but I don't think I've had one since my early 20s maybe? There's something about hearing and feeling your heartbeat pound in your ears while all other sounds cease and your breathing just stops that is abso-fucking-lutely terrifying. Especially when you feel like something is blocking your throat when you try to force yourself to take a breath. My last one got started because I got stuck in the thought of "What if when we die we don't know we're dead and life just keeps going on for us like nothing happened because we just make everything up from that point on and it just keeps going like that until people slowly stop contacting you and reaching out because you stop making things up for them?"

My brain is an asshole sometimes. I ended up breaking three fingernails down to the quick from digging my fingernails into my palm during it and that kind of snapped me out of it, but I still haven't let go of the thought. I just keep pushing it to the back of my mind in a "Yeah, I'm not fucking dealing with this shit right now, I can panic all I want later, but for now I have to work," kind of way.

For some reason I tend to do okay in panic situations but panic in everyday situations. Like on a normal day that kind of thought would have ended in me passing out, not pushing the thought aside so easily after a burst of sharp pain. However, as well as I'm doing with the situation overall, my patience with people is wearing fucking thin right now.