NFL Pick Em & Suicide

[Jason]

The refs wanted that to be a fumble so bad until Lindsay picked it up. At least Kool-Aid man has to waste a challenge.

Thank you, Phillip. Very cool!

[Jason]

Our o-line has been getting penetrated harder than Jenna Jameson in her prime.

[Reign in Blood]

Holy fucking shit, that was the worst sack-six I've ever seen in my life. Flacco is hot garbage on a dumpster fire. If I watch more of him I'll cut myself.

[Jason]

McAnus misses...

Murphy's Law in full effect.

[Headhunter]

How many fucking times has Joe taken a sack on a 3rd down in FG range? I hate him.

[Jason]

It was holding, but Kelce embellished it like the lil punk bitch he is.

[Jason]

Simmons is a bad mofo.

[Headhunter]

Sasquatch statue with no leadership skills, no balls and no place as a starter in this league.

[Headhunter]

Holy fucking shit, that was the worst sack-six I've ever seen in my life. Flacco is hot garbage on a dumpster fire. If I watch more of him I'll cut myself.

Things are a clicking for Chip Kelly’s offense right now though. Pat McAfee on the call.

[Jason]

Pat McAfee is my hero.

[Tiggnutz]

Sasquatch statue with no leadership skills, no balls and no place as a starter in this league.

That's so spot on

[Jason]

Just cut Bolles, for fuck's sake.

As inconsistent as Flacco has been, the o-line needs to step the fuck up for once.

As I type this, Flacco lasers a ball to Fant in triple coverage and Fant drops it.

[Jason]

The needle on my mediocre turntable broke. Just got a new one and it's one of the best turntables I've ever seen. Gonna rock some tunage.

[Jason]

Mahomo will be back before or at the start of the 2nd half.

Ruled out immediately.

Probably because they realize he's not even needed.

[Headhunter]

Sasquatch statue with no leadership skills, no balls and no place as a starter in this league.

That's so spot on

If you’re a big stiff who can’t hit the broad side of a barn, Elway will love you. But he didn’t like Russell Wilson and Kyler Murray because they were “too short to play under center” in a 70% shotgun league.

[Jason]

Is there even any debate that this would've been the greatest TD celebration in history?

[Headhunter]

Let’s talk about Garett Bolles. He was the first offensive tackle picked in 2017, Elway’s 1st round pick. He was drafted with three years of football experience and led college football in holding penalties his one season. He was already 25. He has multiple mental disabilities playing a cerebral position. He had a history of drug issues and gang activity.

Who the fuck could have guessed he’d bust?

[Jmac Attack]

Just cut Bolles, for fuck's sake.

As inconsistent as Flacco has been, the o-line needs to step the fuck up for once.

As I type this, Flacco lasers a ball to Fant in triple coverage and Fant drops it.

I thought you were done and was only going to finish the Fantasy League? Lmao. Glad you're still watching though, brother.

[Jason]

Just cut Bolles, for fuck's sake.

As inconsistent as Flacco has been, the o-line needs to step the fuck up for once.

As I type this, Flacco lasers a ball to Fant in triple coverage and Fant drops it.

I thought you were done and was only going to finish the Fantasy League? Lmao. Glad you're still watching though, brother.

My final year, I said.

[Jmac Attack]

Just cut Bolles, for fuck's sake.

As inconsistent as Flacco has been, the o-line needs to step the fuck up for once.

As I type this, Flacco lasers a ball to Fant in triple coverage and Fant drops it.

I thought you were done and was only going to finish the Fantasy League? Lmao. Glad you're still watching though, brother.

My final year, I said.

You did say that. I'm just giving ya shit. I don't want you to go. *Sniff*