The hospital shit I think plays a massive part in my immense frustration with work. I've learned to value my free time more than anything, and working full time doesn't sit well with me. Not to mention working full time, plus overtime, plus an extra fucking day a week... Drives me crazy. I will likely live a long life *knockonwood*, but getting close has put a perspective on things. I sure as shit don't want to die any time soon, I still feel like I'm kind of recovering mentally from that shit, but I also feel like I fear death less. In general I'm not taking things for granted as much. After being in the shit storm, and now getting to hop on the Harley, or going to grab a fountain drink at Chevron can really feel like paradise. I used to just think I was unlucky with the shit I have. But now I'm starting to lean toward maybe being the lucky one.Reign in Blood wrote:Weird question, but you've pretty much been to the edge and came back, played in that space, near death let's say. You ever felt like you brought something back with you?
I watched this video like 20 times when I was sitting at home having panic attacks after they told me if I bleed again I might die. Really helped to bring me peace when I was kind of going crazy about the uncertainty of the shit I was going through. Really therapeutic video. It's Kevin Smith talking about his Mom's incident with actually dying and being brought back to life, and he also talks about him facing death with his heart attack when they told him he'd likely be dead.
