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So I started watching The Beastmaster the other night, haven’t seen it since I was a kid so I don’t remember dick, but the nostalgia in me had it up there with the Conan’s and such. Well, it’s definitely not. But I definitely forgot all about the beginning, where ol’ Beastie sets a rapey trap for Tanya Roberts, gets his animals to do his bidding to fake “save” her, then proceeds to blatantly sexually assault her. This fucking guy, if he was walking around in modern times, he’d have a rap sheet a mile long for roofying and mollying. Now in this day, there’s two kinds of people, those who think that scene makes the movie better or worse?

I laughed my balls off, so you know what camp I’m in and what songs we sing! And it ain’t John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, baby.

That’s not even the worst thing about the scene. Fuckin’ ol’ Beastie starts out by strolling down to a Jacuzzi lake with Tanya and another hot blonde bathing topless. Instead of jumping in and trying to make some magic happen with both em, he decides to go all Nightstalker on one of em with that shit, this fucking guy. I guess the animals carry him to the sequels so he doesn’t end up Darwining himself. :idea: :arrow:

Beastmaster is a classic, imo. And that scene is ok. I always just saw it as him using the animals as his wingman. He plays the hero, gets the girl, like has been done tons of times before. He gets a bit handsy, but it's not really rapey.

Whenever I think about Beastmaster now, I always remember when Marc Singer was at Megacon years ago. Brian Thompson was in the booth next to him and telling everyone to ask him about the ferrets. My buddy who was with me did, and you could see the confusion as Singer tried to maintain a smile and said "why does everyone keep asking me about the ferrets? They're dead." Meanwhile, Thompson's doubled over, laughing like a maniac. Apparently, he'd been sending people over to ask him about the ferrets all weekend.

Shudder got stuck spooling and missed the first couple minutes of Joe Bob.

First movie is Audition.

if the second movie doesn't have more than one psycho, i'm calling bs on joe bob's use of the plural.

Class of 1984? Maybe. Not sure unless Darcy was just saying the phrase.

Slaughterhouserock wrote:Beastmaster is a classic, imo. And that scene is ok. I always just saw it as him using the animals as his wingman. He plays the hero, gets the girl, like has been done tons of times before. He gets a bit handsy, but it's not really rapey.

Whenever I think about Beastmaster now, I always remember when Marc Singer was at Megacon years ago. Brian Thompson was in the booth next to him and telling everyone to ask him about the ferrets. My buddy who was with me did, and you could see the confusion as Singer tried to maintain a smile and said "why does everyone keep asking me about the ferrets? They're dead." Meanwhile, Thompson's doubled over, laughing like a maniac. Apparently, he'd been sending people over to ask him about the ferrets all weekend.

I'm on this side of things. It doesn't make or break the movie for me and I always thought it was an amusing way to set up the relationship between him and the animals while also bringing her into the mix. But it has been a few years since I last watched it, so I don't really remember the details, just the animal attack set up.

Reign in Blood wrote:So I started watching The Beastmaster the other night, haven’t seen it since I was a kid so I don’t remember dick, but the nostalgia in me had it up there with the Conan’s and such. Well, it’s definitely not. But I definitely forgot all about the beginning, where ol’ Beastie sets a rapey trap for Tanya Roberts, gets his animals to do his bidding to fake “save” her, then proceeds to blatantly sexually assault her. This fucking guy, if he was walking around in modern times, he’d have a rap sheet a mile long for roofying and mollying. Now in this day, there’s two kinds of people, those who think that scene makes the movie better or worse?

I laughed my balls off, so you know what camp I’m in and what songs we sing! And it ain’t John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, baby.

That’s not even the worst thing about the scene. Fuckin’ ol’ Beastie starts out by strolling down to a Jacuzzi lake with Tanya and another hot blonde bathing topless. Instead of jumping in and trying to make some magic happen with both em, he decides to go all Nightstalker on one of em with that shit, this fucking guy. I guess the animals carry him to the sequels so he doesn’t end up Darwining himself. :idea: :arrow:

I'm glad I can still watch older, excellent TV and movies without the filter of modern day tattletales and pretending to be offended by shit. A bittersweet moment of the upcoming end to physical media is that although it's ending, at least all the good shit is available on VHS, DVD or blu ray. People literally log in to Twitter hoping they can start the trend of the next thing to cancel or next person to fire. Meanwhile I'm over here watching reruns of All In the Family and South Park.

Imagine what would happen if one of these twits discovers the Connery-era Bond flicks where he backhands the main Bond girl in hysterics.

DancesWithWerewolves wrote:And more Joe Bob tonight. No idea still what the line-up is. Does anyone actually nail the clues?

You delete me off facebook or something?

Slaughterhouserock wrote:Beastmaster is a classic, imo. And that scene is ok. I always just saw it as him using the animals as his wingman. He plays the hero, gets the girl, like has been done tons of times before. He gets a bit handsy, but it's not really rapey.

Whenever I think about Beastmaster now, I always remember when Marc Singer was at Megacon years ago. Brian Thompson was in the booth next to him and telling everyone to ask him about the ferrets. My buddy who was with me did, and you could see the confusion as Singer tried to maintain a smile and said "why does everyone keep asking me about the ferrets? They're dead." Meanwhile, Thompson's doubled over, laughing like a maniac. Apparently, he'd been sending people over to ask him about the ferrets all weekend.

Handsy, and he takes her to the ground and she has to force him off. But forget that, I'm down for using the animals, but why the fuck didn't he go for both in the lake, he didn't even need his animal voodoo.

But I liked it, did a lot of cool shit. But it ain't ever gonna compare to high water mark Conan, when our protagonist here starts crying, not because of a laceration, severed limb, got half his face burnt off. No, because he got his feelings hurt. This fucking guy.