10/26/19
Posted: Sat Oct 26, 2019 1:29 am
So, a couple weeks ago we took pup to the vet because his cough got worse. We were essentially told we had to put him down right then because he was dying. We didn't. We prepared to lose him sometime over the weekend, looked into places that will come to our house to do it because we weren't going to put him down at a hospital. They were kind of assholes about it, implying he would suffer horribly and die within a few days if we didn't do it right then.
It's been two weeks and he's doing okay? I don't know how to fucking feel about that. I was a mess the first week, not eating, not sleeping, I didn't go to work for three days because I couldn't stop crying and I just wasn't okay around people at all. I know I'll go right back to that when it happens, but fuck I don't know how to deal with that feeling again. I keep hoping he just dies in his sleep peacefully one night and I feel like an asshole for thinking that, but I don't want to have to put him down, I've never had to do that before.
He still has the cough which slows him down a little, but he's running around, eating normally and doing normal dog things. His birthday was this past tuesday so he made it to 14 and we're still prepared to lose him pretty much at any given moment, but he's been living it up with homemade steak and fish meals, teddy grahams and a peanut butter pumpkin birthday cake. He's currently still enjoying life so I don't know what to think.
I'm honestly just hoping he makes it through October and into November because I don't give a shit about November but I don't want to dread October as a reminder of my dog dying.
I've not watched any horror movies this month 'cause I can't really handle animal injuries in movies or shows right now because I'm an overly emotional weakling when it comes to that stuff. Kill and torture as many humans and kids as you want, but leaving the fucking animals alone, lol.
What I have done this month is bury myself in writing stupid stories in order to keep my brain occupied at all times. So I wrote like twenty shorts *shrug*
And how have you guys been?
It's been two weeks and he's doing okay? I don't know how to fucking feel about that. I was a mess the first week, not eating, not sleeping, I didn't go to work for three days because I couldn't stop crying and I just wasn't okay around people at all. I know I'll go right back to that when it happens, but fuck I don't know how to deal with that feeling again. I keep hoping he just dies in his sleep peacefully one night and I feel like an asshole for thinking that, but I don't want to have to put him down, I've never had to do that before.
He still has the cough which slows him down a little, but he's running around, eating normally and doing normal dog things. His birthday was this past tuesday so he made it to 14 and we're still prepared to lose him pretty much at any given moment, but he's been living it up with homemade steak and fish meals, teddy grahams and a peanut butter pumpkin birthday cake. He's currently still enjoying life so I don't know what to think.
I'm honestly just hoping he makes it through October and into November because I don't give a shit about November but I don't want to dread October as a reminder of my dog dying.
I've not watched any horror movies this month 'cause I can't really handle animal injuries in movies or shows right now because I'm an overly emotional weakling when it comes to that stuff. Kill and torture as many humans and kids as you want, but leaving the fucking animals alone, lol.
What I have done this month is bury myself in writing stupid stories in order to keep my brain occupied at all times. So I wrote like twenty shorts *shrug*
And how have you guys been?
