Recently Watched Movies

[Reign in Blood]

Now Chuck, you gonna just watch all these older than dirt movies, or are you gonna jump into the Movie of the Month and watch something a little less dusty with us? A flick that doesn't have the Model T rolling around in it, I think it would do you well. Old wine and cheese is tasty and all but you need a balanced diet my friend, is all I'm saying

[DancesWithWerewolves]

Mad God .................. A

Phil Tippett's long baking stop motion nightmare masterpiece is finally unleashed. It's dialogue-less, and the plot is vague, but the vision is stunning and as like an 85 minute Tool video. It's cryptic, stylish, and top notch stop-motion work that really makes me miss it. It's not 100% stop motion, there are also puppetry and live-action actors in use. Recommended for those that appreciate the art of film making and visual storytelling, but if you're looking for something with more character and story (and dialogue), there's not much here. But that wasn't the point.

[Slaughterhouserock]

Mad God .................. A

Phil Tippett's long baking stop motion nightmare masterpiece is finally unleashed. It's dialogue-less, and the plot is vague, but the vision is stunning and as like an 85 minute Tool video. It's cryptic, stylish, and top notch stop-motion work that really makes me miss it. It's not 100% stop motion, there are also puppetry and live-action actors in use. Recommended for those that appreciate the art of film making and visual storytelling, but if you're looking for something with more character and story (and dialogue), there's not much here. But that wasn't the point.

Was planning on watching this later today. Looks great.

[JustChuck]

Now Chuck, you gonna just watch all these older than dirt movies, or are you gonna jump into the Movie of the Month and watch something a little less dusty with us? A flick that doesn't have the Model T rolling around in it, I think it would do you well. Old wine and cheese is tasty and all but you need a balanced diet my friend, is all I'm saying

I looked in on MotM. Not ready to dive in yet, but I'm watching out.

Mad God is visually interesting, but so narratively incomprehensible that I mentally checked out long before the end. It all looked really hard and I was impressed by the effort more than the result.

The Black Phone (2021)
★ ★
I throw my hands up in frustration of the incredibly creative people who came together to make this uninspired movie. Young Madeleine McGraw is the only person who isn't going through the motions. Ethan Hawke is usually a presence to watch, but here he lets his various masks do the work for him while he seems barely awake. There's nothing that makes him unique or memorable aside from the look.


Watcher (2022)
★ ★ ½
In the end, this is as unsurprising as The Black Phone, but in the moment there's more suspense and intrigue even though the casting presents a greater challenge. Maika Monroe (It Follows) once again plays a woman who is sure someone is waiting in the darkness to get her and naturally creepy Burn Gorman plays the chief suspect. They come off better than Karl Glusman (Neon Demon) as the boyfriend whose support and hostility come in equal measure. I can't help my viewing order, but the low level of creeps here is like Halloween compared to The Black Phone.

[Reign in Blood]

Hmm, that's interesting about the Black Phone, I had high hopes.

[DancesWithWerewolves]

I'm still sorta interested in The Black Phone, but have been weary since the trailers didn't exactly grab me either.

[Slaughterhouserock]

Crimes of the Future, the old one. Had to look up what it's about, cause fucked if I could tell you after watching it. Apparently some cosmetic killed off the women of the world and the film just follows the narrator around for a bit. It's an hour long, no soundtrack, no dialogue, just a guy narrating every five minutes or so. I know it's only Cronenberg's second film, but man, this is the most boring fucking thing I've watched in a long time. The fucking narrator's voice about put me to sleep a few times. The finale apparently has him find a little girl(like five, tops) and some pedos want him to fuck the kid. Just all around had a bad time watching this. Avoid at all costs.

I had planned on watching the new one after this, but man, I need a break after this garbage. I'll give it a go tomorrow.

[JustChuck]

I've seen 19 Cronenberg films and Crimes of the Future (1970) is ranked at the bottom. Student filmmaking and narrated instead of dramatized. Still, it does look like a film from Cronenberg's early period and there are a number of shots that would make you believe this person has a cinematic eye.

[Slaughterhouserock]

Crimes of the Future, the new one. This isn't supposed to have anything to do with the old one, but it seems to have taken bits of it(new organs, white goo) and made an actual film out of it. People are starting to grow new organs, have lost the ability to feel pain, pain has become pleasure, and body disfiguration has become an art form. The plot is surprisingly political, in that the government wants to silence anyone talking about evolution and make everyone with new organs get registered. It's mostly serious, but I got a giggle out of the guy covered in ears, and there is the most awkward kiss scene that must have been hard to film without laughing. No idea what the deal was with people walking out that was being talked about. He's had far grosser films. Interesting and worth a watch.

[Slaughterhouserock]

Beavis and Butthead Do the Universe. Exactly what you'd expect from a B&B movie involving space and time travel. Haven't laughed like that in awhile.

[Slaughterhouserock]

Men. A woman rents a house in the country after her husband dies and shit gets weird. Every guy in the film is played by the same actor(barring the dead husband). The lady doesn't notice, and it's never mentioned, so I dunno what that was about. I'm sure there's an allegory behind all the shit going on, but that's not why I watch this stuff, so I don't care. It's slow and atmospheric for the first half, then weird and confusing for the second half. Nothing is explained. They don't show you what happens at the end. Shit just ends. There's even a Chekov's gun moment that doesn't play out(it almost does, but then it ends). I don't need things explained to me, but I would have liked some sort of payoff for having sat through this. It's interesting, but goes nowhere, so I can't recommend it.

[Slaughterhouserock]

Those Who Walk Away. Guy goes on a date that ends in a haunted house. Lots of "style over substance" shit going on here with it being a one-shot and weird camera work and horrible choices for lighting. The film itself is ok, could have even been good if they cut the pretentious shit out. The "ghost" is laughable, even though you only see it for a minute or so. The underlying theme of childhood sexual abuse is weirdly done and alot of stuff left me wondering what the hell was going on. The ending was kinda dumb, and should have ended about five minutes sooner. All around strange film, but worth a watch if you're looking for something a bit odd.

[Slaughterhouserock]

SlashBack. A group of kids fight off some aliens in alaska. The aliens take the skin of who they kill so they look like they're wearing Leatherface style masks, but there's only two human aliens. The kids are mostly annoying, as kids normally are. There's the rich one, the poor one, the nice one, and the cunt, so the usual setup. It's not great, but the director is obviously a horror fan, as there are several references to other horror films throughout. One possible reference is towards the end, when the cunt gets "stuck" under a tiny bookcase similar to Ash. The acting was subpar, but I think it was everyone's first film, so that's to be expected. Think this was made for a younger audience, so not for everyone.

[JustChuck]

Long Pigs (2007)
★ ★ ★ - Okay
There's a sizable run of pseudo-documentary Horror, attempting to erase the line of safety and show you how serial killers 'really' operate. The idea here isn't new and can easily be described as parts ofcHenry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, Behind the Mask, Man Bites Dog and The Poughkeepsie Tapes. For this kind of film to work, you have to have a reason for following the person. They must be compelling and against all odds, they need to be somewhat charming. Anthony, the star of our documentary, has a nice unassuming quality. He's not a loner in need of an audience, but a buddy who wants to be helpful. The film does an excellent job keeping you interested in Anthony, and when that runs dry, it finds one particular case that hits a nerve and then digs in to become a reminder that Anthony has the black soul of a monster.

This type of film also requires absolute realism, with every character and with the graphic content. It nails the 2nd part, with unrated scenes where Anthony walks us through the process of turning people into food, including a single static take where a victim is hung and butchered. It wasn't until I was composing my thoughts that I could admire what a feat of practical effects that shot was. As for the side characters, here's where the film makes it's big mistakes. There's a homicide detective, who looks like an actor in a detective suit, talking tough about how he won't rest until this guy is caught. Even worse is the female psychologist spouting cliches about serial killers that's meant as a counterpoint to the realism of Anthony's reality, but is so poorly written and acted the moments constantly destroy the illusion.


Be My Cat: A Film for Anne (2015)
★ ★ ★ - Okay
This deeply uncomfortable work shows what found footage can achieve with absolute believability. Filmmaker Adrian Tofei plays Adrian - all actors appearing use their real names - and he is obsessed with Anne Hathaway. This is his attempt to convince her to star for him in a movie, demonstrating his directing skill by staging scenes with actresses who look similar. The film doesn't just blur fiction and reality, it erases it so convincingly that I admire the courage of the women for agreeing to appear in this. Tofei frequently publicizes the film with the women, to show none were actually harmed.

He balances that by writing extensively on Letterboxed in a way that's mostly in character. There's a super-dark section of Horror I'm happy staying away from, with titles like August Underground and Murder Set Pieces. I guess Long Pigs counts as one of these. What I admire about Be My Cat is the extensive restraint. There is a moment where Tofei happens upon a dead cat and the camera lingers, but the violence to the women is free of gore. Instead, there are long takes of the director working himself up to some immoral act, and the length of certain shots is like I said, deeply uncomfortable, but a relief from a potentially more disturbing alternative.


S&man (2006)
★ ★ ★ - Okay
"There's a difference between Porn and Horror. The actors in Porn are really having sex. It's a fictional frame, but the act itself is real. I like to watch people, and on movie screens I like to watch them die."

A fictional story curled up inside a documentary about Underground Horror. This sub-genre is the most extreme end of horror where there's the barest amount of story if any and the focus is on believable scenes of murder. It's Angst or Cannibal Holocaust stripped of any cinematic style, where the goal is to create something that looks like a snuff film.

The documentary talks to the makers of August Underground (who is sickened by his own end result but proud of the cast and effects team) and a director who goes by Bill Zebub. We actually watch his "process" which mostly consists of drinking beers while coming up with images of violence against women. (Titles include Kill the Scream Queen, Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist and The Worst Horror Movie Ever Made). It's kind of fascinating to watch filmmakers with no artistic ambition who just like putting things on camera. There's also an actress named Debbie Dutch who's okay with anything so long as she isn't really hurt... too much. Everyone involved questions the people who seek out these movies, but they never think of what they're doing as harmful.

The other filmmaker interviewed is Eric Rost who has a series of underground stalker DVDs called S&man (Sandman). Each title has a Chapter number and a woman's name. This guy is obviously a fictional serial killer, but I applaud how easily his interviews and footage fit right in with everyone else. The tone taken by director J.T. Petty (who has other Horror credits) doesn't judge Rost any more than the others, which makes Rost the critique of this type of movie. Considering how much I love cinema, I always viewed these films as sacrilege. This at least gives me a new perspective on the people who make them, and does me the relief of making me a lot less curious to watch more. Not easily recommended because of the frequent graphic content, but one of the better made faux-documentaries.

[JustChuck]

La Bruja (1954)
★ ★ ½
Mexican Horror that's interesting for not being what you might expect. The hideous witch is transformed into a beautiful woman and learns that ugliness is something that comes from within. Fairy Tale story takes a dark turn when a tribunal of outcasts come in, calling the nature of evil into question. More melodrama than horror, but it's definitely horror too.


Tell Me Something (1999)
★ ★ ½
I immediately recognized this as something I'd seen before. In the shadow of Se7en, bodies turn up with parts from multiple victims. Artfully shot with gruesome crime scenes. Takes its time, the ending adds up okay, but it doesn't really build to anything climactic beyond an explanation.

[Tiggnutz]

Alfie (1966)
I was expecting a British rom/com but this was more of a straight drama. Michael Caine and Vivien Merchant were outstanding in this. A-

[Reign in Blood]

S&man (2006)
★ ★ ★ - Okay
"There's a difference between Porn and Horror. The actors in Porn are really having sex. It's a fictional frame, but the act itself is real. I like to watch people, and on movie screens I like to watch them die."

A fictional story curled up inside a documentary about Underground Horror. This sub-genre is the most extreme end of horror where there's the barest amount of story if any and the focus is on believable scenes of murder. It's Angst or Cannibal Holocaust stripped of any cinematic style, where the goal is to create something that looks like a snuff film.

The documentary talks to the makers of August Underground (who is sickened by his own end result but proud of the cast and effects team) and a director who goes by Bill Zebub. We actually watch his "process" which mostly consists of drinking beers while coming up with images of violence against women. (Titles include Kill the Scream Queen, Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist and The Worst Horror Movie Ever Made). It's kind of fascinating to watch filmmakers with no artistic ambition who just like putting things on camera. There's also an actress named Debbie Dutch who's okay with anything so long as she isn't really hurt... too much. Everyone involved questions the people who seek out these movies, but they never think of what they're doing as harmful.

The other filmmaker interviewed is Eric Rost who has a series of underground stalker DVDs called S&man (Sandman). Each title has a Chapter number and a woman's name. This guy is obviously a fictional serial killer, but I applaud how easily his interviews and footage fit right in with everyone else. The tone taken by director J.T. Petty (who has other Horror credits) doesn't judge Rost any more than the others, which makes Rost the critique of this type of movie. Considering how much I love cinema, I always viewed these films as sacrilege. This at least gives me a new perspective on the people who make them, and does me the relief of making me a lot less curious to watch more. Not easily recommended because of the frequent graphic content, but one of the better made faux-documentaries.

"Considering how much I love cinema, I always viewed these films as sacrilege."

I ask Why? I get these are bottom of the barrel, but horror in particular has always orbited around some dude just grabbing a camera and going for it, stupid story, effects, don't matter, off they go (basically how Spielberg got going). August Underground has 0 merit, but it's like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, "filmamker" no clue what they're doing just filming their fractured psyche.

I guess I mean, piss on these flicks, but they're not sacrilege.

[Slaughterhouserock]

[snip]
The documentary talks to the makers of August Underground (who is sickened by his own end result but proud of the cast and effects team) and a director who goes by Bill Zebub. We actually watch his "process" which mostly consists of drinking beers while coming up with images of violence against women. (Titles include Kill the Scream Queen, Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist and The Worst Horror Movie Ever Made). It's kind of fascinating to watch filmmakers with no artistic ambition who just like putting things on camera. There's also an actress named Debbie Dutch who's okay with anything so long as she isn't really hurt... too much. Everyone involved questions the people who seek out these movies, but they never think of what they're doing as harmful.
[snip]

I have seen, and own, a few Bill Zebub films. Almost all are absolute garbage(e.g. Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist, Frankenstein the Rapist, Rape is a Circle, etc.). However, I believe that The Worst Horror Movie Ever Made was one of those "monkeys make Shakespeare" situations. I'm not saying it's Shakespeare, but it's actually an entertaining film. It's mostly random nonsense, but it's funny. Definitely not for everyone, but if you have to watch any of his films, that would be the one to choose.

[Slaughterhouserock]

The Black Phone. A guy is kidnapping and killing kids, meanwhile a girl has dreams about the dead kids and her brother is the newest one kidnaped. I was expecting more of a horror film, but this is pretty much just a suspense film with some ghost stuff thrown in. Not bad, just not what I was expecting. The setup is interesting, the payoff is good, Ethan Hawke played a good weirdo, and the comic relief cokehead was actually kinda funny. Worth a watch, just know it's not really horror.

[Tiggnutz]

Klute (1971)

The thriller aspect of this was really lacking but just about everything else was outstanding. It is in my opinion Jane Fonda's best work and she was well deserving of the Oscar she won for her role. Donald Sutherland was also very good in the title role. I always thought Klute was a weird title for a film but now I know why. B+