Recently Watched Movies

[Monster]

Isn't there a movie about Becky lynch coming out? I saw a trailer before Creed 2 with the Rock about a female wrestler joining the WWE. Thought it about her.

[Reign in Blood]

Isn't there a movie about Becky lynch coming out? I saw a trailer before Creed 2 with the Rock about a female wrestler joining the WWE. Thought it about her.

Paige.

[Monster]

Ah. Paige is hotter.

[Jason]

Was hotter as hot.

[Reign in Blood]

Ah. Paige is hotter.

She does like anal, no word on that from Becky.

[Havok]

We've been doing a Christmas Horror marathon for the radio show this entire month, so I figured i'd do mini reviews of them on here.

Krampus : Origins - This was a boring and terrible mess of a movie. It's the prequel to Krampus: Unleashed from last year and that movie isn't anything to write home about either, but it was kind of fun to pick apart and rip into. This one is just god awful, the Krampus looks better, but looked like something out of a Lord of the Rings movies instead. Shoddy effects, incoherent story and terrible characters.

Secret Santa - This one was better than expected. Dysfunctional family comes together for Christmas, each with their own hidden secrets and baggage that soon comes to light. Soon a couple family members go on a rampage due to spiked punch and then turns into a semi splatter movie with some funny moments and witty banter between the family.

Mrs Claus - A few okay kills, but nonetheless it's still a by the numbers slasher, nothing really all that great.

Slay Belles - Well, the Krampus looked way better compared to Krampus Origins and some characters kind of got on your nerves because the entire film felt like some Japanese anime in it's structure of storytelling. Had some decent ideas with the Santa/Krampus connection, but it got kind of dull after awhile even with a run time of 66 minutes.

Await Further Instructions - I liked the idea, but the story could've been more intense or interesting. The family aspect was kind of similar to Secret Santa, but with the son instead of the Daughter. The ending was pretty fun though and for some reason reminded me of The Mangler 2.

Out of all of these if I were to recommend any to watch those would probably be Secret Santa and Await Further Instructions. Slay Belles maybe, just because it's a short watch, but it might get on your nerves after awhile.

[Monster]

They Shall Not Grow Old

I bought my ticket last month and it was well worth the wait. I loved that they didn't use a narrator, just audio from actual veterans describing their experience from training to the trenches to coming home. The 30 minute documentary afterward about the making of the movie was almost as interesting. I expect it'll turn up on the History channel or something similar in the future. I highly recommend it.

[Reign in Blood]

Summer of 84 - B

Stranger Things meets slasher tropes with less interesting characters. I enjoyed, but this will ultimately be forgettable.

Revenge (2018) - B+

Highly enjoyed and recommend this nice little rape-revenge thriller. Some good gore scenes, thought each character did well, kept me captivated throughout. Could have been an A though, except for two things

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. Her survival. Pick a fucking direction, either supernatural ala the Crow or realistic, not both. As is, no one is surviving that fall getting impaled like that out in the fucking desert. So I'm like cool, they're going the Crow route, or in this case Catwoman from Batman Returns as they had an Ant-woman thing going on here, just to also try to make it realistic with her going Rambo and cauterizing the wound and all this shit. No, no, no, pick a more realistic injury or go supernatural.

2. You have a hot lead and no nudity, but show us plenty of man-ass with a side of wang? I'm sure that was part of the "point" because this was written and directed by a woman, and the man-ass made sense for the situation and ensuing shit, but reciprocation is key. What happened to equality, damn yous.

[Ava]

Summer of 84 - B

Stranger Things meets slasher tropes with less interesting characters. I enjoyed, but this will ultimately be forgettable.

Revenge (2018) - B+

Highly enjoyed and recommend this nice little rape-revenge thriller. Some good gore scenes, thought each character did well, kept me captivated throughout. Could have been an A though, except for two things

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. Her survival. Pick a fucking direction, either supernatural ala the Crow or realistic, not both. As is, no one is surviving that fall getting impaled like that out in the fucking desert. So I'm like cool, they're going the Crow route, or in this case Catwoman from Batman Returns as they had an Ant-woman thing going on here, just to also try to make it realistic with her going Rambo and cauterizing the wound and all this shit. No, no, no, pick a more realistic injury or go supernatural.

2. You have a hot lead and no nudity, but show us plenty of man-ass with a side of wang? I'm sure that was part of the "point" because this was written and directed by a woman, and the man-ass made sense for the situation and ensuing shit, but reciprocation is key. What happened to equality, damn yous.

I enjoyed the "is he or isn't he?" plot of Summer of 84. Made that end reveal fun.

[Ava]

Just got around to watching The Nun.
It was weird to watch the guy who played Father Burke, because to me he is the mexican drug lord from Weeds.
He can't be a priest! He is a butt spanking, tiger loving, cocaine shipping fool!

[Jmac Attack]

Just got around to watching The Nun.
It was weird to watch the guy who played Father Burke, because to me he is the mexican drug lord from Weeds.
He can't be a priest! He is a butt spanking, tiger loving, cocaine shipping fool!

Is that the same guy from Half Baked (yo they killed killer B!)? If so, that dude is gay and is married to another dude. Not judging, but I would have never guessed that lol.

[Havok]

Death House

This was bad. I don't even know what the idea for this originally was, but i'm sure it wasn't suppose to be what this ended up being because the story doesn't even make sense. So, these two people are taking a tour of Death House, this giant prison that has 9 sub levels and at the very bottom are five super bad people called the Five Evils that I guess are immortal or something? Some little kid that is randomly in a garbage can kills a guard and puts a detonator in his body and when pulled out causes the prison to go into lock down. Which causes all the prisoners to escape and go on a killing spree. Kane Hodder then wants to lead all the prisoners to the Five Evils chamber so they can escape Death House. Oh, Kane also can't die for some bullshit reason and then it just spirals into a complete mess of a film with terrible effects, green screen hell, phoned in acting and a incoherent plot cluttered together to make a nonsensical 87 minute movie. Honestly, there's just so much wrong with this movie that if I wrote everything out this review would turn into a novel.

It's not even good bad, because there's nothing to have fun with as the movie progresses. It's plain bad. I can't really recommend the movie even with all the names involved, because it's just a disservice for anybody to watch this dreck.

[Ava]

Just got around to watching The Nun.
It was weird to watch the guy who played Father Burke, because to me he is the mexican drug lord from Weeds.
He can't be a priest! He is a butt spanking, tiger loving, cocaine shipping fool!

Is that the same guy from Half Baked (yo they killed killer B!)? If so, that dude is gay and is married to another dude. Not judging, but I would have never guessed that lol.

No, not Guillermo. Guillermo never spanked Nancy. Just wanted to kill her LOL.

I was talking about Esteban....


Miss that show... :cry:

[Jmac Attack]

Just got around to watching The Nun.
It was weird to watch the guy who played Father Burke, because to me he is the mexican drug lord from Weeds.
He can't be a priest! He is a butt spanking, tiger loving, cocaine shipping fool!

Is that the same guy from Half Baked (yo they killed killer B!)? If so, that dude is gay and is married to another dude. Not judging, but I would have never guessed that lol.

No, not Guillermo. Guillermo never spanked Nancy. Just wanted to kill her LOL.

I was talking about Esteban....


Miss that show... :cry:

Ahhhh....gotcha. I miss that show too. The last episode was rushed and so horrible. Other than that, it's probably my favorite show of all time.

[DancesWithWerewolves]

Roma ........ A+

Excellent, intimate, beautiful, depressing, insightful, blah blah blah, this site won't give a shit

[Jmac Attack]

Roma ........ A+

Excellent, intimate, beautiful, depressing, insightful, blah blah blah, this site won't give a shit

I'll check it out.

[Havok]

Suspiria (2018)

The first takeover dance sequence and the exploding heads finale was about the only thing that I truly enjoyed. Everything else was style over substance. It's still a beautifully shot movie, but the 145 minute run time doesn't really add anything, it just elongates scenes that only took a few minutes in the original film. The doctor side plot doesn't add anything and could've been cut from the entire movie and probably made the film have a better flow storytelling wise.

[Jason]

Pretty much how I felt about it.

[DancesWithWerewolves]

Glass ......... B

Likable conclusion to the superhero idea M. Night started with Unbreakable, but not as good as Unbreakable or Split. It's still pretty decent, though with the low scale 3rd act I could see how this could be disappointing people with bigger expectations (it is Blumhouse, they keep their budgets down). The performances are top notch.

[Jason]

Feds (1988)

God damn that was a good ass movie. It wasn't some special epic with a crazy story. Just a damn good comedy-action flick.