Recently Watched Movies

[Slaughterhouserock]

We Need to Do Something. A family holes up in their bathroom during a storm, but get stuck there when a tree falls and blocks the door. Things get a little...off, about thirty minutes in. It's good as an isolation, starvation, claustrophobic horror, but the reveal at the end is questionable. Could have been much better with a different ending.

[Slaughterhouserock]

Broadcast Signal Intrusion. In 1999 a guy finds a weird video that someone played after hacking a tv network and goes all Nic Cage in 8mm over it. There are other videos from the same hacker, but the gist is it's a combination of the Max Headroom incident, I Feel Fantastic, and an ARG. If you don't know what any of those things are, google them for some interesting stuff. It's an interesting film, and while there are some answers, there are other questions that are left open. The last minute or so aren't the greatest, but don't let that deter you from checking it out.

[Slaughterhouserock]

Lamb. Icelandic couple raise a lamb/human hybrid kid. Weird little drama where not much happens, but somehow kept my attention. Ending is meh, but I wasn't expecting much.

[Slaughterhouserock]

The Deep House. A douchebag youtuber and his girlfriend dive into a lake to do a ghost hunter routine in a submerged house. As with most ghost films, it desperately tries to cause tension and scares through the use of random noises, shadows, and the ever-present jump scare. Also, it's shot first-person/found footage style, so the camerawork is a mess. If you like shaky cam, jump scares, and scenes so dark you can't see anything, this is the movie for you.

[Slaughterhouserock]

Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight 2. While the first film was a mediocre slasher that was mostly a ripoff, this one goes in a completely different direction. It starts the day after the first film, but instead of using the fat guys(who are still alive, and somehow were arrested), it follows a new killer, and is from the killer's viewpoint starting about halfway through. Reminds me of the change in tone from Basketcase 1 to 2, just not as drastic as that. I'd say it's better than the first, but only because it wasn't just another ripoff.

[Slaughterhouserock]

The Axiom. A group of people go into the woods in search of a friend/sister that went missing. Turns out the woods lead to an alternate dimension or some such shit, and things try to possess and kill them. It's not that good, but man, the third act really shits the bed. It goes from ok-ish to just plain dumb once they try and explain things. Not worth the time investment.

[Slaughterhouserock]

Lair. A guy kills his wife and kid and blames some evil statue for possessing him. Turns out he's part of a team of ghost hunters and the statue was just something they took from a "haunted" site. They say from the get-go that it's all bullshit, but the shithead partner sets up a rental and puts the statue in there to record what happens. This is supposed to either prove it has no effect on people(proving the guy's nuts, and clearing him of any liability), or prove shit's real(making him money). Fuck all happens in the first 45 minutes, but when shit finally does happen, what he does makes no sense. Not sure what the end game was at this point, other than to make the film longer. Also, there's a last minute twist that's an attempt at making this seem like a part of something larger, but really doesn't make much sense. Guess it's ok, but only worth watching if you've nothing else to do.

[Slaughterhouserock]

Anonymous Animals. People and animals swap places, but the people are still just people, while the animals have human bodies with animal heads. Sounds cooler than it is. It's an hour long, no real plot, no dialogue. I'm guessing it's supposed to be art, or some sort of commentary on how we treat animals. Fucked if I know, I don't watch movies for that shit. It was ok, but having no driving force behind it made it pointless.

[Slaughterhouserock]

Electric Jesus. A teen christian rock band goes on tour in '86 with Kevin from The Office as their manager when they get a chance to open for Motley Crue and Stryper. Holy fuckballs this is filled with way too much jesus and shitty rock. I thought it was a comedy, but I just kept waiting for the punchline that never came. Fucking exhausting. If you're into religion, I guess it's good? Maybe? Otherwise, it's shit on a stick.

[Jmac Attack]

Electric Jesus. A teen christian rock band goes on tour in '86 with Kevin from The Office as their manager when they get a chance to open for Motley Crue and Stryper. Holy fuckballs this is filled with way too much jesus and shitty rock. I thought it was a comedy, but I just kept waiting for the punchline that never came. Fucking exhausting. If you're into religion, I guess it's good? Maybe? Otherwise, it's shit on a stick.

That sucks because on paper, that sounds amazing.

[Slaughterhouserock]

That sucks because on paper, that sounds amazing.

I'll break it down in case you're still tempted to give it a watch:

The Motley Crue/Stryper thing was in the trailer, so I thought that would be the big finale, but it's only about a five minute setup for them to fail.
They make fun of metal fans, non-christian metal, and black metal in particular. The black metal bit could be construed as an attempt at humor, but the rest is in bad taste.
It is serious with the jesus loving shit. Jesus is mentioned in almost every scene of the film. This would be fine if it was a Spinal Tap type of seriousness, but there is no humor here.
It has a really bad love story subplot that goes nowhere and is kinda creepy.
Any time the band plays, it shows the entire song, so it's almost a musical. And the songs are all about jesus.
All anyone cares about is jesus. There is no motivation other than to promote jesus. These characters couldn't be more one-dimensional.
I thought Kevin would be funny, but he plays a sleazy car-salesman type, but what he's selling is jesus.

It's just bad characters, bad storytelling, and not entertaining.

[Slaughterhouserock]

Shang Chi. Finally got around to watching this and it was pretty good. Fight scenes were better than the usual shit, Kingsley was funny as the comic relief(and it was good to see them clear up his role in Iron Man 3), Awkwafina was an odd choice, but was ok. Considering I know fuck all about the character, I can't comment on the accuracy of any of it, but it was fun.

[Slaughterhouserock]

Old Henry. Western about a guy with a past that has some shit dropped on his doorstep. The son is annoying as fuck, and there's a flashback/dream that's shown more than the one time it should have been, but otherwise, it's a good film.

[Slaughterhouserock]

Last Night in Soho. It was ok. Honestly, I don't see what all the fuss is about. Maybe because fashion and the 60's mean fuckall to me. I'm sure I'll get shit for this, but good movies mean nothing to me if they don't entertain me.

[Jmac Attack]

Last Night in Soho. It was ok. Honestly, I don't see what all the fuss is about. Maybe because fashion and the 60's mean fuckall to me. I'm sure I'll get shit for this, but good movies mean nothing to me if they don't entertain me.

The wife and I liked it. But not sure if I'll watch it again. Nice visuals. Good acting. The cgi ghosts was a huge turnoff. I'm weird....sometimes that shit will affect my mood about a movie, lol.

[Slaughterhouserock]

The wife and I liked it. But not sure if I'll watch it again. Nice visuals. Good acting. The cgi ghosts was a huge turnoff. I'm weird....sometimes that shit will affect my mood about a movie, lol.

Yeah, all the elements were good, but it just didn't do much for me. And the cgi guys were pretty shit.

[Jmac Attack]

The wife and I liked it. But not sure if I'll watch it again. Nice visuals. Good acting. The cgi ghosts was a huge turnoff. I'm weird....sometimes that shit will affect my mood about a movie, lol.

Yeah, all the elements were good, but it just didn't do much for me. And the cgi guys were pretty shit.

We were saying after the movie, that they didnt even have to show the ghosts. Just audio would've sufficed. Don't fuck up the nice visuals with that crap.

[DancesWithWerewolves]

Ghostbusters: Afterlife

Yes, it's true...this film does follow the current trend of being a sequel that follows many plot beats of the original film. But I don't mind. I loved that it had a more serious tone like the first film (where it's a real-world, and people are just funny, no goofy Scooby-Doo slapstick like the remake or the light-rom-com tone of the second movie ... but I still like the second movie in spite of that). McKenna Grace was excellent as a mini-Egon, and I wasn't expecting her one friend she makes to remind me of such a young Ray (no relation to the character, just a welcome reference). Hearing the classic Elmer themes brought back ... *chef's kiss*

Was great seeing the originals back in action. There is a Spielbergian touch that clearly Jason Reitman is influenced by, so it kinda feels like Ghostbusters meets Goonies, and again I'm good with that lol. I loved that they made the effort to make a real Terror Dogs a practical effect for parts of the movie (obviously not running around or escaping traps or transformation, but most of that Walmart scene features a real animatronic, and it felt so welcome and refreshing).

The not-so-great (and this is NITpicking): I am reminded of something I miss about older films - I miss longer takes between edits. Not that it was horrible here, I was just reminded of this thought while I kept thinking they don't need to edit so quick all the time. I kinda wish there was more involvement of the town during the 3rd act, such as some of the other minor characters introduced earlier like the sheriff or douchy coworkers, they all just kinda disappeared. Loved hearing the Elmer musical themes...but at the same time I didn't hear new themes explored so it kinda felt like they relied a little too much on the original score for reference.

Grade: A-

[Slaughterhouserock]

Ankle Biters aka Cherrypicker. A guy is dating a woman with four daughters(all under ten) that think he's hurting their mom because they watched a porn the mom and him made that included some bondage and impact play. I was mostly annoyed through the whole thing, because it plays out like a kid's movie where the kids are just playing pranks(though, a bit more violent) and being idiots. The last ten minutes or so were decent, but I don't think it was worth sitting through the rest of it. And to top it off, there's a "we'll be back with Ankle Biters 2" stinger at the end. Lol, no thanks.

[Tiggnutz]

Ghostbusters: Afterlife

Yes, it's true...this film does follow the current trend of being a sequel that follows many plot beats of the original film. But I don't mind. I loved that it had a more serious tone like the first film (where it's a real-world, and people are just funny, no goofy Scooby-Doo slapstick like the remake or the light-rom-com tone of the second movie ... but I still like the second movie in spite of that). McKenna Grace was excellent as a mini-Egon, and I wasn't expecting her one friend she makes to remind me of such a young Ray (no relation to the character, just a welcome reference). Hearing the classic Elmer themes brought back ... *chef's kiss*

Was great seeing the originals back in action. There is a Spielbergian touch that clearly Jason Reitman is influenced by, so it kinda feels like Ghostbusters meets Goonies, and again I'm good with that lol. I loved that they made the effort to make a real Terror Dogs a practical effect for parts of the movie (obviously not running around or escaping traps or transformation, but most of that Walmart scene features a real animatronic, and it felt so welcome and refreshing).

The not-so-great (and this is NITpicking): I am reminded of something I miss about older films - I miss longer takes between edits. Not that it was horrible here, I was just reminded of this thought while I kept thinking they don't need to edit so quick all the time. I kinda wish there was more involvement of the town during the 3rd act, such as some of the other minor characters introduced earlier like the sheriff or douchy coworkers, they all just kinda disappeared. Loved hearing the Elmer musical themes...but at the same time I didn't hear new themes explored so it kinda felt like they relied a little too much on the original score for reference.

Grade: A-

I think A- is where I'm at also. Mckenna Grace was damn good.