July 10th 2018

[Foo]

They're actually releasing me today. Switching my blood thinner to Lovenox. Which means stomach injections twice a day for life.

I shot that into my aunt's belly for a month. Didn't hurt at all! She fucking hated it, though. :p

Lol

I've taken it plenty of times. It was typically given to me as a prep for an oral blood thinner, or used it before and after a surgery. I'm used to injecting myself with it. The needle isn't so bad, but my stomach fat is low, so it feels like injecting acid into my body sometimes. Other than that, if it actually does the job, I won't mind it at all. The scary thing is my life is a waiting game, at this point.

Sir, we are all only one wrong move away from the grave. One person texting in the oncoming lane, one little cell inside of us that goes batshit, one chunk of a space station that falls from the sky. We can manipulate the odds, but we don't control where the ball lands.

[Jason]

Should I start taking the anti-depressant?

You know how I feel about that shit. If you feel it is a last resort and are willing to accept a lifetime of it and the side effects, you may not have a choice, however.

It's a predicament. I don't want to take it, but my head is all over the place at random hours of the day, every day. My brain will start panicking and I'll get panic attacks out of nowhere. I'm not suicidal, I just feel like I could die at any moment. Which seems to be a real possibility.

[Foo]

Should I start taking the anti-depressant?

you should try to see if it works for you, but take it slowly and see how it affects you and don't just rush into it for the sake of wanting to just feel better right now.

The issue with this is I have to take the pill once a day, every day, for it to work. I can't just stop taking it, I need to be weaned off of it. Also, it takes like two months for it to take full effect.

Yup. It is not a "try and see", it is a lifetime commitment.

[Jason]

They're actually releasing me today. Switching my blood thinner to Lovenox. Which means stomach injections twice a day for life.

I shot that into my aunt's belly for a month. Didn't hurt at all! She fucking hated it, though. :p

Lol

I've taken it plenty of times. It was typically given to me as a prep for an oral blood thinner, or used it before and after a surgery. I'm used to injecting myself with it. The needle isn't so bad, but my stomach fat is low, so it feels like injecting acid into my body sometimes. Other than that, if it actually does the job, I won't mind it at all. The scary thing is my life is a waiting game, at this point.

Sir, we are all only one wrong move away from the grave. One person texting in the oncoming lane, one little cell inside of us that goes batshit, one chunk of a space station that falls from the sky. We can manipulate the odds, but we don't control where the ball lands.

True, but if we got in the car and legitimately worried about that stuff, we'd likely not start the car. :p

[Foo]

Should I start taking the anti-depressant?

You know how I feel about that shit. If you feel it is a last resort and are willing to accept a lifetime of it and the side effects, you may not have a choice, however.

It's a predicament. I don't want to take it, but my head is all over the place at random hours of the day, every day. My brain will start panicking and I'll get panic attacks out of nowhere. I'm not suicidal, I just feel like I could die at any moment. Which seems to be a real possibility.

Find purpose. I feel right now you are a ship with no rudder.

[Jason]

Should I start taking the anti-depressant?

you should try to see if it works for you, but take it slowly and see how it affects you and don't just rush into it for the sake of wanting to just feel better right now.

The issue with this is I have to take the pill once a day, every day, for it to work. I can't just stop taking it, I need to be weaned off of it. Also, it takes like two months for it to take full effect.

Yup. It is not a "try and see", it is a lifetime commitment.

According to the doc, if I don't like it, I can be weaned off of it and stop taking it forever. She mentioned the side effects, but didn't mention they could be lifelong.

[Jason]

Should I start taking the anti-depressant?

You know how I feel about that shit. If you feel it is a last resort and are willing to accept a lifetime of it and the side effects, you may not have a choice, however.

It's a predicament. I don't want to take it, but my head is all over the place at random hours of the day, every day. My brain will start panicking and I'll get panic attacks out of nowhere. I'm not suicidal, I just feel like I could die at any moment. Which seems to be a real possibility.

Find purpose. I feel right now you are a ship with no rudder.

Being alone seems to have taken its toll, finally. I mean, I have friends and parents, but nobody to lay with every night. I'm 30. I should be in a relationship and have a job that makes me feel like I'm contributing in some way. But I don't want to go out now and meet some woman at my worst and drag her into the BS I'm currently dealing with. I'm not even capable of providing for myself, right now. Ideally, health improves, then I'll mingle at some point, but I've got nothing killing that dark cloud over my head.

[zombie]

Should I start taking the anti-depressant?

you should try to see if it works for you, but take it slowly and see how it affects you and don't just rush into it for the sake of wanting to just feel better right now.

The issue with this is I have to take the pill once a day, every day, for it to work. I can't just stop taking it, I need to be weaned off of it. Also, it takes like two months for it to take full effect.

Yup. It is not a "try and see", it is a lifetime commitment.

it is a try and see. you can find what works for you and what doesn't. or whether it doesn't work at all.

[zombie]

Should I start taking the anti-depressant?

you should try to see if it works for you, but take it slowly and see how it affects you and don't just rush into it for the sake of wanting to just feel better right now.

The issue with this is I have to take the pill once a day, every day, for it to work. I can't just stop taking it, I need to be weaned off of it. Also, it takes like two months for it to take full effect.

yeah, you'll probably need to be weaned off of it. but you have options and choices. it's not the lifetime commitment that foo wants you to think. it's not take this one and you'll have to take it forever whether it works or not. but if you think the risk is not worth the chance. then don't take it.

[Jason]

Should I start taking the anti-depressant?

you should try to see if it works for you, but take it slowly and see how it affects you and don't just rush into it for the sake of wanting to just feel better right now.

The issue with this is I have to take the pill once a day, every day, for it to work. I can't just stop taking it, I need to be weaned off of it. Also, it takes like two months for it to take full effect.

yeah, you'll probably need to be weaned off of it. but you have options and choices. it's not the lifetime commitment that foo wants you to think. it's not take this one and you'll have to take it forever whether it works or not. but if you think the risk is not worth the chance. then don't take it.

I think he's saying I'll have to live with the side effects for the rest of my life.

[zombie]

Should I start taking the anti-depressant?

you should try to see if it works for you, but take it slowly and see how it affects you and don't just rush into it for the sake of wanting to just feel better right now.

The issue with this is I have to take the pill once a day, every day, for it to work. I can't just stop taking it, I need to be weaned off of it. Also, it takes like two months for it to take full effect.

yeah, you'll probably need to be weaned off of it. but you have options and choices. it's not the lifetime commitment that foo wants you to think. it's not take this one and you'll have to take it forever whether it works or not. but if you think the risk is not worth the chance. then don't take it.

I think he's saying I'll have to live with the side effects for the rest of my life.

potentially. like i said, if you feel like it's not worth the risk. don't take it. i personally don't want to do that, myself. i feel like shit about myself most the time. i feel like i'm scum. but from second hand experience, it's better than not caring about anyone or anything else along with just feeling less shitty about myself. to me, that's not worth it. and as far as i know that's something that comes along with most anti-depressants. it's up to you whether you feel like not feeling like you're crap all the time is worth whatever risks and side effects come along with it.

[Jason]

Should I start taking the anti-depressant?

you should try to see if it works for you, but take it slowly and see how it affects you and don't just rush into it for the sake of wanting to just feel better right now.

The issue with this is I have to take the pill once a day, every day, for it to work. I can't just stop taking it, I need to be weaned off of it. Also, it takes like two months for it to take full effect.

yeah, you'll probably need to be weaned off of it. but you have options and choices. it's not the lifetime commitment that foo wants you to think. it's not take this one and you'll have to take it forever whether it works or not. but if you think the risk is not worth the chance. then don't take it.

I think he's saying I'll have to live with the side effects for the rest of my life.

potentially. like i said, if you feel like it's not worth the risk. don't take it. i personally don't want to do that, myself. i feel like shit about myself most the time. i feel like i'm scum. but from second hand experience, it's better than not caring about anyone or anything else along with just feeling less shitty about myself. to me, that's not worth it. and as far as i know that's something that comes along with most anti-depressants. it's up to you whether you feel like not feeling like you're crap all the time is worth whatever risks and side effects come along with it.

Lol. You are the greatest person on this site, zomb. Everyone will attest to that.

[zombie]

Should I start taking the anti-depressant?

you should try to see if it works for you, but take it slowly and see how it affects you and don't just rush into it for the sake of wanting to just feel better right now.

The issue with this is I have to take the pill once a day, every day, for it to work. I can't just stop taking it, I need to be weaned off of it. Also, it takes like two months for it to take full effect.

yeah, you'll probably need to be weaned off of it. but you have options and choices. it's not the lifetime commitment that foo wants you to think. it's not take this one and you'll have to take it forever whether it works or not. but if you think the risk is not worth the chance. then don't take it.

I think he's saying I'll have to live with the side effects for the rest of my life.

potentially. like i said, if you feel like it's not worth the risk. don't take it. i personally don't want to do that, myself. i feel like shit about myself most the time. i feel like i'm scum. but from second hand experience, it's better than not caring about anyone or anything else along with just feeling less shitty about myself. to me, that's not worth it. and as far as i know that's something that comes along with most anti-depressants. it's up to you whether you feel like not feeling like you're crap all the time is worth whatever risks and side effects come along with it.

Lol. You are the greatest person on this site, zomb. Everyone will attest to that.

no, i'm really not. but thanks for saying so.

i wasn't looking for sympathy too. by the way. i wasn't trying to make you feel bad for me. just letting you know how i feel about anti-depressants, personally.

[Jason]

I hear ya.

PM box is always open, btw.

[zombie]

I hear ya.

PM box is always open, btw.

that goes both ways. if you wanna try venting to someone for a while, before committing to any kind of drug or medication. feel free to drop a line?

[Jason]

Will do.

[Foo]

Should I start taking the anti-depressant?

you should try to see if it works for you, but take it slowly and see how it affects you and don't just rush into it for the sake of wanting to just feel better right now.

The issue with this is I have to take the pill once a day, every day, for it to work. I can't just stop taking it, I need to be weaned off of it. Also, it takes like two months for it to take full effect.

yeah, you'll probably need to be weaned off of it. but you have options and choices. it's not the lifetime commitment that foo wants you to think. it's not take this one and you'll have to take it forever whether it works or not. but if you think the risk is not worth the chance. then don't take it.

I think he's saying I'll have to live with the side effects for the rest of my life.

I am saying it begins an endless cycle of relying on chemicals to deal with your mood. Let's look at some scenarios:

- the pills work! Oh happy day, now you are on this drug forever. Always wondering if you have beaten the depression and you can stop or if stopping will turn you into a super depressed and possible total psychotic suicidal murderer. Also to fill up the depressed valleys, the high mountains are leveled.

- the pills don't work. You have ingested lots of chemicals that are fucking with your brain. Coming off then is dangerous still. The next solution will also be sought, which is also going to be more pills.

- the pills kinda work. This is the most common. They will mess with the dosage, add more drugs to he mix, etc. more pills to soften your crunchy poo and make your dick hard. More pills, more pills, all doing far more than just making you happy.


Again, this would be a last resort for me. I would think really hard about the pills or some guy with a drill and a brain map giving me a partial lobotomy to take out the bad stuff. To me, that stuff is slightly more controlled heroin. It is rare for people to ever get off the stuff and live a happy life.

You may be there. I hope not but I don't know. i think we all go through times where we question everything. I think for a variety of reasons you see hopelessness, but just a small twist of fate can change it all for the better.

[Jason]

I am kind of treating it as a last resort. The ups and downs are killer. I'll have a great few hours of my head being totally fine and optimistic and then it'll turn on a dime usually for no reason. Or when I get a tiny pain in some random spot.

Really shitty to deal with. I've experienced those ups and downs throughout my initial blood clot diagnosis in 2013. But I never felt this dark cloud or sense of impending doom like I have for the last 40 straight days. It just hit a whole new level at this point, with these particular incidents.

[Dream]

Should I start taking the anti-depressant?

You know how I feel about that shit. If you feel it is a last resort and are willing to accept a lifetime of it and the side effects, you may not have a choice, however.

It's a predicament. I don't want to take it, but my head is all over the place at random hours of the day, every day. My brain will start panicking and I'll get panic attacks out of nowhere. I'm not suicidal, I just feel like I could die at any moment. Which seems to be a real possibility.

Want to PM me what it is and I can give you my opinion on it?

I'm with Foo, unless you're feeling so hopeless that suicide is an actual concern, I don't recommend looking to medication as a fix for general depression, there are better methods to combat down moods and feelings of hopelessness. About the only exception to that is looking at it as a temporary crutch to keep you functioning from day to day while you seek out those other treatment methods.

[Dream]

Should I start taking the anti-depressant?

you should try to see if it works for you, but take it slowly and see how it affects you and don't just rush into it for the sake of wanting to just feel better right now.

The issue with this is I have to take the pill once a day, every day, for it to work. I can't just stop taking it, I need to be weaned off of it. Also, it takes like two months for it to take full effect.

yeah, you'll probably need to be weaned off of it. but you have options and choices. it's not the lifetime commitment that foo wants you to think. it's not take this one and you'll have to take it forever whether it works or not. but if you think the risk is not worth the chance. then don't take it.

I think he's saying I'll have to live with the side effects for the rest of my life.

The side effects of one pill went away when I started a different one. It took a couple of months to go away completely, but they did go away once the med was out of my system.