April 9th 2018

[Tiggnutz]

It's Monday but at least I could actually see some spring weather this week.

[DancesWithWerewolves]

Looking at 95 degrees today.

[Dream]

I'm looking at a high of like 43 today <3

Also, trying out a new hobby- painting minis from my board games. The first few, at least, will probably be a disaster, but I'm excited to try it out and see how I do.

Also trying my hand at making soap. Shall be interesting, I expect another disaster, but I feel like I need to find something to do besides writing. I know my stories need more editing but I'm hung up on what I should change and I don't know if I'm changing stuff just because I don't trust my work, or if it actually is shit.

I'm incredibly frustrated with work. I want to go back to school but can't afford it at all.

I feel stuck. I'm trying the "force yourself to fucking enjoy something" tactic to get out a rut. I'm seeing a new therapist as well. Someone recommended by my last therapist who does a treatment she thinks will work well for me and apparently has a good track record for people with PTSD. I've looked into it (EMDR if anyone is interested) and it does seem to have a decent success rate, but it sounds ridiculous. At this point though, I'm open to trying anything. I'm kinda sick of feeling powerless and perpetually afraid of people.

Hope all of you are doing better than me, cause meh, having to live kinda sucks 90% of the time.

[Ava]

I think we have it up around 80 degrees this week. I just returned from a week long stay in a cabin in the mountains of North Carolina where it was amazing weather. Froze my boobs off at 30 though!

[Jmac Attack]

Ava! Hey!


.......now back to work.... Lol

[Ava]

I'm looking at a high of like 43 today <3

Also trying my hand at making soap. Shall be interesting, I expect another disaster, but I feel like I need to find something to do besides writing. I know my stories need more editing but I'm hung up on what I should change and I don't know if I'm changing stuff just because I don't trust my work, or if it actually is shit.

I'm incredibly frustrated with work. I want to go back to school but can't afford it at all.

I feel stuck. I'm trying the "force yourself to fucking enjoy something" tactic to get out a rut. I'm seeing a new therapist as well. Someone recommended by my last therapist who does a treatment she thinks will work well for me and apparently has a good track record for people with PTSD. I've looked into it (EMDR if anyone is interested) and it does seem to have a decent success rate, but it sounds ridiculous. At this point though, I'm open to trying anything. I'm kinda sick of feeling powerless and perpetually afraid of people.

Hope all of you are doing better than me, cause meh, having to live kinda sucks 90% of the time.

Soap making sounds fun! How about those bath balls? My neices go nuts over those things. I spent $30 on those three for Christmas last year on just those! I really liked the ones that were on shark tank for kids that had little toys in them.

As for school. They have a lot of ways to help pay. Hell, I didn't think I'd get a year of Pell grants (don't have to pay back) but I did! I had that same fear a while back.

Had to google EMDR. My brain filled the letters out as Emergency Medical Dick Revival. "WE NEED EMDR STAT!!!!".

[Ava]

Ava! Hey!


.......now back to work.... Lol

Hiya!
and NOOO!! Not allowed.

[Ava]

I spent today searching for frames for glasses. I finally broke my eyeballs! I didn't realize how big the trend was for large nerdy glasses on ladies. It seems like at least 80% were either big cat eye or bordering on Clark Kent territory.

I can't help it. I try on a pair like this.... (which I really really like)


but when I look in the store mirror I only see this...



or this...

[DancesWithWerewolves]

peaked at 96. Record for today in this zip code, by 6 fucking degrees.

[Ava]

peaked at 96. Record for today in this zip code, by 6 fucking degrees.

[Dream]

I'm looking at a high of like 43 today <3

Also trying my hand at making soap. Shall be interesting, I expect another disaster, but I feel like I need to find something to do besides writing. I know my stories need more editing but I'm hung up on what I should change and I don't know if I'm changing stuff just because I don't trust my work, or if it actually is shit.

I'm incredibly frustrated with work. I want to go back to school but can't afford it at all.

I feel stuck. I'm trying the "force yourself to fucking enjoy something" tactic to get out a rut. I'm seeing a new therapist as well. Someone recommended by my last therapist who does a treatment she thinks will work well for me and apparently has a good track record for people with PTSD. I've looked into it (EMDR if anyone is interested) and it does seem to have a decent success rate, but it sounds ridiculous. At this point though, I'm open to trying anything. I'm kinda sick of feeling powerless and perpetually afraid of people.

Hope all of you are doing better than me, cause meh, having to live kinda sucks 90% of the time.

Soap making sounds fun! How about those bath balls? My neices go nuts over those things. I spent $30 on those three for Christmas last year on just those! I really liked the ones that were on shark tank for kids that had little toys in them.

As for school. They have a lot of ways to help pay. Hell, I didn't think I'd get a year of Pell grants (don't have to pay back) but I did! I had that same fear a while back.

Had to google EMDR. My brain filled the letters out as Emergency Medical Dick Revival. "WE NEED EMDR STAT!!!!".

have made some bath bombs recently, just used the last of my first batch on Friday, so will be making some more tomorrow (they are square because the square mold with like 15 cavities was the same price as one freaking ball mold.) I have some scent oils for bourbon, sawdust, burnt wood, black pepper, vanilla, and leather. I'm planning on using a combination of those for my soaps.

Tomorrow is my soap and bath bomb making day, Wednesday is gonna be my painting day.

I need to look into Pell grants again. I should go for it, the worst thing that can happen is I get denied. I just don't know what I'd want to go into. Social work appeals to me, but I think it would wear me out emotionally so it's not a great long-term investment. I would love to go into teaching, which might be what I end up going for, it's pretty basic, would be fairly easy for me and it's something that it doesn't really matter where I live, the odds of finding a job are pretty decent.

Hehe, it stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It's been around since the late 80s I think, and has apparently worked out pretty well for a majority of people who tried it. I was having a lot of trouble actually speaking about the things that bother me. I could write them out, but verbalizing them really tripped me up and kept me either just on the verge of a panic attack or completely disconnected from what I was saying. This doesn't require me talking about the issues, just thinking about them, so yeah, willing to give it a shot.